How to Cook a Thanksgiving Turkey

by: Chloe LaRiviere

get a turkey at the store. cook it at your house. cook it for ten minutes. get it out of the oven. put a little bit of salt on it. eat the turkey and dip it in barbeque sauce.



chloe believes the flavor of all food is enhanced (and disgusting food made tolerable) by dipping it in something. she is a picky and fickle eater. yesterday she decided to try my butternut squash soup. i asked her how she liked it.
"pretty disgusting but kinda good."
i tried to get her to clarify.
"it's gross but i kinda like it."
"so you like gross things?"
"kinda."

knock knock

chloe's introduction to knock knock jokes was through the book

"cowboy and octopus."

“Knock knock,” says Octopus.
Cowboy opens the door. “Nobody there.”
“No, no,” says Octopus. “You say, ‘Who’s there?’”
“Ain’t nobody there!” says Cowboy.
“I know,” says Octopus. “It’s a joke.”
Cowboy thinks for a second. “Well, dang. It’s not a very funny joke.”
Octopus laughs. “No, cowboy. The joke comes after you say, ‘Who’s there?’”
“Okay,” says cowboy. “Who’s there?”
Octopus says, “Lettuce.”
“Lettuce?” says cowboy. “That’s crazy talk. Lettuce can’t knock on a door.” Cowboy laughs. “That is a great joke, Octopus.”
Octopus laughs, too. Telling Cowboy a knock knock joke didn’t work out so well. But a lettuce knocking on a door is pretty dang funny.

so chloe thought the punch line was having something funny at the door. i tried to explain it to her but she doesn't get it.

stella, knock knock.

who day?

orange

(stella laughs)

no, stella. you have to say, 'orange who?'

oyenge who

orange skinny garbage face

(lots of laughing from chloe)

they usually have something to do with garbage and face.

chloe, tell me one without saying face.

...apple who?

apple leaf face--oh! it's too hard!

another favorite:

olive you glad i knocked on your door?